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In Ways I Can't Explain

by Mariner

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1.
03:44
2.
02:50
3.
4.
03:16
5.
03:23

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released August 4, 2015

Written by Mariner
Recorded and produced by Scott Goodrich at NuTone Studios

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Mariner San Jose, California

Bay Area Pop Punk

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Track Name: Another Year
I hope you're comfortable with how you left things
you've had the best of me
since we were seventeen
And now I'm drowning in a sea of memories
cause just forgetting
never made much sense to me
Am I so wrong to think that there's more to this
than just going our separate ways
Hiding at the very sight of you
thinking my friends should too
I'm sick of thinking of you every single day
I don't know how I got here
I know I should be over this by now
But I'm still so exhausted
from the time we wasted
building up this bridge just to burn it to the ground
I just have a problem with letting go of the things I miss
But its out of my hands, my heads in the sand
I'm left to wonder if I'll ever get over this
And I don't know if I'll make it through another year
of pretending that you don't exist
its hard enough as it is
sleeping in this bed without you here
And I don't know where you lay your head at night
the fault is yours but I know its my bad
I lost the only best friend I've ever had
So I'll keep telling myself that I don't believe in love
and that everything happens for a reason
Anything to keep my mind off of
the part of me that's missing
Every time I think I'm getting somewhere
on letting go
I see your face, all progress erased
This curse Ive embraced is all I'll ever have to show
I cant seem to shake this problem with letting go of the things I miss
But its out of my hands, my heads in the sand
I'm left to wonder if I'll ever get over this
Track Name: Headlocked
I swallow three white pills a day
to convince myself that I am not insane
coping methods put me in my place
but it's got my brain thinking in ways I cant explain
The reason why I'm always seeing red
or why these twisted thoughts keep running through my head
I'm not the hero of your book misread
There's no saving someone if they're already dead
I'm sick of living life in the fast lane
with an empty gas tank
I never wanted any of this in the first place
I try to keep it straight
but its got my brain thinking in ways I cant explain
The world sees one side of me
I keep the rest locked up and threw away the key
I've grown sick of hating everything
but this is all that's left of the boy I used to be
There's reasons and then there's excuses
So tell me what did I do to deserve this
There's reasons and then there's excuses
So what the fuck did I do
Don't put it on like you know what Ive been through
You call it life or death, I call it point of view
Your feet would break if they were in my shoes
So if you thought you knew me, you never had a clue
Track Name: Fight Or Flight
I stopped fighting fair the day you started keeping score
The gloves were off but now Ive given up
I spent the past two years trying my best to hate you
But trying my best was never good enough
To keep you entertained or keep me sane
My destination's forward, but nothings changing
And now I'm playing hide and seek
with the anxiety you gave me
Its all in my head the anxiety you gave me
Step off, and keep away from me
I'll pack my things and move back to the city
If its fight or flight I guess I let you win
Don't say you fell out of love, you never fell in
They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger
Ive been holding my breath waiting for it to kick in
They say that time heals all but scars serve as a reminder
now what doesn't kill me just makes me wish it did
The bench was wet that night over at Sunny Cove
I tried to keep my cool but like the waves I broke
You said you were sorry but I knew what you meant
That night I learned to forgive but I wont let myself forget
You said you were sorry but I knew what you meant
That night I learned to forgive
but this I promise, I wont forget
Track Name: Sinking In
Everyone I know says they miss the old me
I can't say I disagree
Like the back of my hand
I know this story all too well
Ive heard it all before
I know I'm not okay in case you couldn't tell
I'm still in between
who I am and who I want to be
but my will to live
is weaker than the walls surrounding me
When peace of mind just seems so out of reach
There's only so much I can do
before the weight of it all comes crashing down on me
I think I'm in too deep
This solitude just can't be breached
Every day this noose around my neck gets tighter
until I cant breathe
So if you're holding onto me, let go
cause I'm more messed up than you'll ever know
Its still sinking in
That the wold gave up on me a long time ago
Everyone I know says they miss the old me
I can't say I disagree
But I haven't seen that kid
since the day I realized I can't feel anything
And I know I'm not the same
I never used to be so filled with hate
but the seasons change as people do
I'm not placing blame, I liked the old me better too
But now I'm running out of time
To get back to the life I left behind
I just need to know that I'll be fine
I just need to know that I'll be fine
So if you're holding onto me, let go
cause I'm more fucked up than you'll ever know
Its still sinking in
Track Name: So You Know
I'm so sick of hearing people say
That it gets easier with time
when I can't wake up in the morning
I'm haunted by you every night
I've been terrified to listen
And I'm too afraid to speak
because my biggest fear
is knowing exactly what you did to me
Even when there was nothing left for me
you found a way to make me stay
and I put all I had into this
just to watch you throw it all away
So hold back the excuses
ya, and your apologies are useless
If you had a dime for every lie you told me
maybe then you wouldn't be so worthless
Well you got what you wanted
and I got what I asked for
Time wasted on a whore
There's nothing left to say
nothing will ever change
and we'll be better off this way
I'm getting sick
of people telling me to get over it
and that I should move on
and just forget
I'm not one to run from my fears
but I cant waste another three years
so consider this my goodbye
but I'm not signing it sincere
Just so you know
I never expected that you could sink this low
And no I won't apologize
I'm not the one who was so quick to spread their thighs
Just so you know
I never expected that you could sink this low
So don't you dare apologize
Your mouth's only good for two things, one is telling lies